-predictably unpredictable-: I'm like, aiyo.

Monday, June 15, 2009

I'm like, aiyo.

Have you ever woke up in the morning with this nagging feeling that there's something in your life that's left undone? Its like this weightiness you feel when you've forgotten to bring some important book/ homework to school;
or the zesty uneasiness you get like a spicy nut trapped in between your butt after a morning expedition to the lavatory where you prematurely sliced your williard off before you get to the tip of the chocolate ice cream swirl.

Anyways.

Somedays you just have to pray for peace. And some days you're kept to the edge of your seat of what "All things work out for good" really means- because you don't know exactly how that's going to happen; but somehow you just gotta believe that it will.

On a separate matter;
Mom was eavesdropping my telephone conversation last night. She couldn’t-ve picked a better time to give me a semi-lecture on budgeting my phone bill while there was a heated phone conversation going on at the other end. And whats even more amazing is that this morning at the breakfast table, she actually pointed out that I sounded quite upset over the phone and was wondering what as going on.
Not like, the transparency & privacy thing bothered me; but its more like how two things came in together sans the presence of tact; plus the phone bill thing was never an issue until last night.

This,
together with the time where I was really kept in suspense with my adrenalin-laded bloodstream restrained in a stifened composure as my eyes were glued on to the computer trying to redeem me and my team mates from being slaughtered by a well coordinated gank; and then mommy coming in asking me "So what can I pray for you?"

really wants to make me laugh out loud at myself.

I find it amazing at quarter-life, surpassing the teenage and college years and your first job; there's just this little kid in you that you can't purge off your parents head. If Hollywood made a movie of me I could related myself to Matthew McConaughey in Failure to Launch; sans the looks and chest hair. Alright, maybe not that. Maybe I'm Lars, the guy Ryan Goosling played in Lars and the real girl. That I'm so disconnected and enstranged from the real world that my mom (the embodiment of Lar's sister in law) has to go to extreme measures just to relate to me; Lest my socio-phobic tendencies drive me to extreme isolation & disillusionment.

My whole conviction of living together with my parents at this point wasn't so much about the convenient factor or the pleasantries that my mom & dad could offer; but more because I was hoping that this would help me relate with my family better. After all; its only a small fraction of life that you get to stay with them, and after that a major portion is prolly spent away after you start having a family of your own. So instead of craving the freedom which is inevitable anyway; I'd rather work on whats in the long haul where you don't have to look back and wished you could've spend more time with your folks.

Obviously sometimes it just feels like its not working out. So...
sometimes its just this horrible affair that we get into. The tenacious vigor of youth trying to conquer the world with idealism and all that.

lah.

posted by picibel @ 10:02 AM

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